it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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