Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
