it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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