i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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