is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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