Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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