but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We talked him into tasing himself.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
