Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
