the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize