I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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