I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
