I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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