Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
