The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
