why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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