Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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