just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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