i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
