The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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