i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
