I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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