An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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