I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
