For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
