i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
