Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
