Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
