So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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