If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
