Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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