I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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