okay pat passed out under dana's car
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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