All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
