someone get that fucking seahorse.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
