Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
