Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
this will be a night to untag.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
