After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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