I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
