me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
