I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
