Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
