At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
