Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
