I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
