sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
