dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
