omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
