If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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