well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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