You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
