your room smells of hookers.
And success
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
