Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
