best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
