thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
