I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dignity is for republicans.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
