Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
